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Monthly Archives: January 2009
Insights from Jen Louden- retreat notes #3
carolyn at Lake Erie State Park (David Kieber photo)
Wide Whacky Happy Relaxation
~Try to expand your idea of what relaxation is – get beyond what relaxation is – get beyond what you think should be doing.
~Bring that sense of your self back into your body - that precious body you have – let the twinges become a portal to your body
~Ask yourself: Am I now? – not needing to know – because the mind is not always the way to know…use the mindful questions in mini-relax sessions…Where Am I?
~Get out of your “comfort” rut – Be open to new ways of achieving relaxation e.g. read poetry instead of the newspaper or a novel
~Sometimes you need ACTIVE Relaxation like the KAlI face: Sound “ahhh” and cactus arms & stomp around to get the energy moving. You need to meet yourself where you’re at and move it to a place where you have more choice
If it’s uncomfortable/edgy, etc. – look beyond the story or specifics of the discomfort and come back to the mood behind it. Be with that feeling – just SIT with it. Don’t focus on WHY – focus on the FEELING.
The concept and practice of RETREAT goes back to the primate females separating form the tribe when they had menses, because the bleeding would attract other animals. Some say that’s when thinking began to bifurcate.
Nate relaxing in Guadalupe Mountains (Mark Knight photo)
FRIDAY NIGHT
Pema Chodron: “Things are always in transition.”
~Notice the transitions….What did my body ( my breath, mind, feelings) do when I am in a moment of change?
~This is often when the Shadowmonster . …the Time Monster takes over
~We forget that we have the right to CREATE OUR LIVES
~Pay attention to the small moment to moment transitions so we can prepare for the big ones (divorce, death, diagnosis)…WE continually practice paying attention to the small stuff. We practice LISTENING then.
~On retreat there is no pressure, so we can lean into the baby transitions and open ourselves to the invitation
~You can practice this uncertainty and apply it to other areas of your life
~Another way is to ask yourself mindful questions. Just spend a minute asking yourself…Replace the negative questions with POSITIVE ones. “Practice HONORING the right to choose your life.” What do I want. Be friendly about whatever comes up.
~Use the body and heart brain when you ask yourself mindful questions
~Just reminding yourself that you have a body is pretty monumental. The way IN is through the body. It can be simple, like massaging the ears. Then recall a positive emotion, a memory – maybe even look at beloved pics. & recall the feeling and the sensations of the time and breathe a little into those feelings. Then, from that space, you can drop the question, WHAT DO I WANT TO DO NEXT- just the next thing. What does my instinct, my feelings, my desire want to do next?
*Get audio at the life organizer.com
About deepening the retreat: the retreat usually brings up deep patterns! So it’s a time to welcome dark feelings. Write about them, draw them, observe them because you are in a safe place during retreat.
RUMI: THE GUEST HOUSE
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each guest has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
***************************************************************
~Ask the uncomfortable feeling: Who are you?
What do you want?
What do you want me to do?
~Free Write about this and your answers….musings….machinations….
Then answer from your adult self: I am in charge here.
Ask yourself the intention question you began with as a way to deepen your retreat.
Garden Buddha (Studio Panterra -Westfield NY)
HEALTHY COMFORT
~Don’t wait for resistance to go away. It is a part of life. When you feel secure and safe, it recedes …When you feel uncomfortable or scared, Resistance rears up!
SO just notice resistance. Don’t beat yourself up over it.
RESISTANCE HAPPENS,
Resistance does not have to tell us What to do!!!! We don’t have to give it permission. Acknowledge that perhaps you don’t trust COMFORT.
I AM HERE.
I GET TO CHOOSE HOW I TREAT MYSELF.
I ALWAYS HAVE A CHOICE.
comfortretreat insights#2
This is a continuation of my notes from last weekend’s Virtual Comfort Retreat somewhat disjointed, etc., but you can, I hope, get the idea.
Trillium (Devin Kieber Grady photo)
Ways to keep retreat mind with you:
*containment: schedule, deadline, shrine
1. Make offerings – such as flower or pic., candle, incense – on your shrine – but the best is to offer your experience
2.Request Blessings – requires opening your mind – reflect on whatever you hold sacred
3.Dedicate the Merit – connect with whatever was roused for you during this retreat session and offer it to all beings.If you don’t do this, it’s like not clicking the SAVE button.
3 Kinds of FEAR:
1. Fear of yourself – I’m not good enough & shame
Antidote: Gentleness to yourself to allow what you feel to be as it is without trying to change it
Pema Chodron: Feel the Feeling but Drop the Story
Cultivate gentleness through sitting meditation
Whenever you feel afraid, write down 3X on a piece of paper: “I am afraid of _____” Inhale/Exhale Repeat Breathe Repeat Breathe
2.FEAR of People – When you know how to come back to balance
Antidote: Delight – curiosity – even if you don’t like them
Cultivated through Lovingkindness
3. FEAR of Life
Antidote: Confidence – authenticity – Being who you really are moment to moment – and being able to show that to the world
LOVINGKINDNESS meditation:
May I live without fear May I live in happiness, May I live in Health, May I live in ease of wellbeing and abundance
Say first for YOU…then a loved one…then a stranger (or someone you are ambivalent towards)…then an enemy…then all beings
Flash Lovingkindness: “May you be happy” when sitting on a bus towards each single person on bus
Always start with yourself
3 KINDS of Laziness: 1. Regular, 2. Becoming disheartened, 3. Being Too Busy
Best way to fight inertia is to figure out “If I were to accomplish my goal, what would be the next step I would take” One practical step at a time.
Agave (Mark Knight photo)
Emotional freedom = Increasing your ability to love more by relinquishing the hold of negative emotions
This is her own technique developed from her work as psychiatrist and intuitive and as explained in her book Emotional Freedom
Relaxation Response * see Herbert Benson’s book (my note)
How we can use any experience to develop more calm. How do we not get sucked under?
Are you an Emotional Empath? an emotional sponge – they take others’ emo.right into their body and they think that others’ emo. are their own
Honor yourself and set smart boundaries.
You must allow quiet breaks during the day
Safeguard your sensitivities e.g. if someone asks too much – you have to say NO
Know your maximum for socializing
STRATEGIES for How to Be Brave
1. Choose a light one and work with it and you can work on the bigger ones later -realize what are the triggers – frame your fear from a spiritual perspective…How can it help me develop courage and become freer
Deactivate the Fear: Breathe, Center, and Repeat mantra: I am not just this fear; I am larger…Expand beyond the particular fear to move into something larger.
Don’t become mesmerized by it. Don’t give Fear any juice, but also don’t deny that you have them.
Take 3 min. meditations during the day: Breathe and visualize a letting go of the past, such as me in the water, riding a wave…
Lotus (Portland OR) - Devin Kieber Grady photo
This is a process you can use anytime for anything in life. It is impossible for you to do everything you want to do as a result of this retreat.
1. Start thinking about what choices you are going to make.
2.Make a decision – what are you going to say YES to and what are you going to say NO to – for NOW…Articulate these. One of the most powerful coaching questions: Doesn’t have to be the right choice – just Make the best choice you can now. It’s a practice!
-Ask What’s the real challenge here…write
-Create a range of options – possibilities for how to do these
CREATE POSSIBILITIES
-What ideas do you already have …write 4 things
-Set a defined limit…write
Brilliant coaching question: But what else might be the possibility?
-Generate one or two additional ideas for each question
- thinking about your challenge – what is the easiest thing you can do?
-What is the fastest thing you can do?
-What is the most courageous – outrageously brave - thing you can do
DO IT FOR TWO HOURS EVERY DAY
-What would be the fun thing to do
-So don’t stop here…What will you do??? By when will you complete this??s What accountability are you going to set up? Who are you going to tell?
-Accept the FEAR & anxiety that goes with it! And Don’t CATASTROPHIZE it – spend some time asking what is the worst that could happen?
-Set up structures of support and encouragement
-Get connected with your life purpose – that can drag you through anything to get there
Nate jumping off 5 foot rock (Mark Knight photo)
Your Innate Well Being
Parts of Well Being:1) Somatic state – delicious feeling in body 2) Understanding – when you recognize what you need to achieve #1 A metta well-being
These two states feed off each other. The value of #1 is in the healing it allows
When you are in that place in you – you are smarter- you can hear your inner voice – your intuition…”I’ll be happy when…I can take more care of myslef or I have the right partner or I buy enough stuff”
-The understanding part- Where do you go to get your good feelings (#!) tells you pretty much everything about your life.
-Even healthy ways such as yoga & meditation – you are going outside and when you don’t have them, there is FEAR. You need to develop well being from the inside.
-Belief that someone else controls our feelings..But Good Feeling is INSIDE you…IT IS YOU!
You are a toaster trying to be a microwave. Release the inner toaster…You are a perfect toaster…a lousy microwave.
-There is nothing outside you that can take away your well being!
-We live stressful lives when we think our well-being can come and go…But emotional states are simply responses to THOUGHTS not to actual world.
HE can get rid of phobias in 20 mins.
In a relationship there are 4 people: your hubbie and the picture of your hubby in your head
You don’t need positive thoughts – you need to recognize that thoughts arejust thoughts. the problem isn’t that you had a negative thought- it’s that you gave it your phone # – at 4 AM when you’re alone in a dark room
-So you just need to recognize the negative thought and have patience – it’ll go away and your well being remains intact
-How you’re feeling- tells how you are thinking
-A sure sign that you are in a low mood is a sense of urgency
-When you are feeling calm – good- then you know that your thinking is clear and you can proceed to make decisions
-When you see that all of that suffering you are putting yourself through is from YOU….
-When people make transformations – it’s because they DECIDED to stop hitting themselves in the head!
-If you really want to get “present” put yourself in a dangerous situation. Put yourself in a situation that is new to you
Kinder way: Decide that being present is more important than all of that activity
EXERCISE:Do each thing as if it was the most important thing for you to do.
*QUESTION asked about manic depression:
1. acknowledge it!
2.when you start to see that even though you have a chem. imbalance you see that cycle is still based on thought
His FEEL HAPPY is a book based on this.
*2nd question about helping others:
1. Check your own state (e.g. we are trying to fix them so that we can feel better) so get yourself in a good place before trying to help them
2. See them as capable of changing their situation. We need to believe in them and their innate wellbeing, health, happiness, and wisdom
2. Get what it is to love somebody else unconditionally..stay in your good feelings for someone even if they don’t behave the way we want them to. So begin to love the person unconditionally.
3.Easy listening: just listening with no intention to fix or make happy etc. So you begin to create space by just listening. Leave the bowl of murky water to settle! It works so well because the nature of the human is WELL.
*ADHD question
Once you realize that the allowing the thoughts to spin out is not serving you and once you begin to realize that a slower mind serves you well…you will deal with life easier!
Still not finished…will get to all of Jen Louden’s remarks tomorrow… see ya’ then.
retreat insights
Several of you have asked me to summarize what I learned during the ComfortRetreat. It was a life-changing four days, but I’ll try to give you the gist of each speaker. You can click on the name to head to their website for further wisdom. I’ll try to sum up all of Jen’s wisdom at the end. This is an impossible task; I’ll have to split it into two posts. You really should just go and sign up for her next workshop….but here goes, my notes~hope they provide some insight to you and help you to live the life you were meant to live.
- Journal about your thoughts re: $ when you were a child
- Focus on how can I help this person…How can I serve this person – go right to THAT!
- Ask yourself: What do I want to create
- Don’t go unconscious about $
- Move from fear to love and creativity
- Your beliefs need to serve you – if they don’t then DON’T honor those beliefs
- RE: email: ask- What would I like to create, given this email? e.g. Take a break, then come back, This is in juxtaposition to acting emotionally all day
- Even though this is a bad market, ask yourself: What opportunity do I have to serve others?
- “A Creative Life is a Fearless Life”
- How do I get beyond being a $ avoider – it’s about growing up
- Responsibility is a CHOICE not a FEELING
- Observe when you reflect that you’ve handled everything in the past – it’s the projection into the future that carries the anxiety
- MEDITATION: get on your deathbed and see that you’ve handled everything
- Sharon Salzburg: “Faith is listening to your inner voice and trusting your inner experiences”
FEAR: your fear is like everyone else’s…Things are scary…Things are hard sometimes…Honor your fear, but don’t attach to it
#1. Don’t try to conquer or get rid of it
#2 Don’t try to convince yourself that your fear is not real; it’s inconsequential
#3 Don’t put pressure on yourself to accept it, befriend it, etc.
- retreat is about safety and feeling love, but Fear is also about safety
- If I succeed, people will figure out that I am fat and lazy…they will see my faults
- What if I succeed fabulously- become really rich – will the family accept me? Will I be ashamed? Will I still be loved?
- Can i open myself to $ and not be stupid with it? Can i accept $ and still love people?
- I can break down the walls. I can open myself by what will come to me.
- Give yourself permission to not be doing it – the thing you want to do…
- Shiva Nata exercise: ring thumb and pinkie together. Spread middle 3 fingers to the outer eyes right above eyebrows…Then thumb to mid-chin; pinkie to skin above lip…then very light touch….then slowly move them away as if they were magnets…Then rest them in your lap
“We don’t ever get done with things; we just keep going”
- Percolating vs. Procrastination: Give yourself permission for , say, 2 hours in the garden. Do the finger positions and the breathing. Give yourself the permission to receive the gift.
- Take short pauses and do the replenishing exercises like yoga, breathing, meditation, etc. After a while the body really craves it ~ you get used to it and remind yourself of what is important
- What is your intention NOW? Are you honoring your intention?
- Index finger & middle finger TAP beneath nose to ground you into calmness
- Use a stone or something to remind you that what youare feeling is OK – you don’t have to feel positive all the time…just notice how it is for you!
Your life purpose is not something you create – it is asking what is within you? It is excavation. You TUNE in to it…work form a deep listening. It is part of your DNA – an imprint on your soul- there is NO WAY you could NOT be this way. It’s your Divine essence – your sweet perfume. The purpose is WHO not WHAT
VISION: is what you see as possible, e.g. everyone is a coach
MISSION: what are you going to do? e.g. create tools to raise people’s consciousness
PURPOSE: what is unique to you to see (Vision) the way you do and how you carry it out (Mission)
CRITERIA to know if you are following your purpose:
1. Something you already do
2. You are impacting people
Mother Theresa Syndrome: Something I feel I have to do…Your purpose is not a plan or a great scheme. She just did it…she saw the sick man and tried to help him…then folks were attracted to her
PURPOSE is not a Goal. It’s not conditional on whether you’re impact is large or small
The goal, if there is one is to simply listen and follow that inner urging.
JUST DO THE WORK YOU CAME HERE TO DO.
You have to be out there delivering your essence. Let opportunity find you by being out there. You have to give in order to get. And don’t judge yourself.
HOW do we access this?
Questions to discover your purpose:
1. What do people always come to you for?
2. What do people say you should do or be?
3. What is your whole life about?4.What is the essence of your dream? The true gift/essence from the universe is the essence – the gift inside the label- it’s a WHO not a WHAT. Ask yourself what would be possible if I am successful in my dream? Who would I get to be? It’s possible to do it TODAY because you already do it…JUST TURN THE VOLUME UP!
NOTE: Some may be already living IT , but since it doesn’t look the way we think it SHOULD look, we rob the JOY out of it.
JOURNAL on these questions. Don’t be afraid to ask siblings and friends their insight on these questions…
It’s an energetic question. WHAT am I drawn to do? What am I rejecting as annoying….e.g. Sitting on hands to avoid leadership role…Don’t cut off your WHO because then you cut off your way to make $
It’s this yummy thing that is already inside you. Relax back into it. Avoid struggling against it.
Are you giving yourself enough rest and relaxation during the day – periods of awakening awareness?
There is a spiritual ideal that is completely false: it’s just not possible to be AWAKE all of the time – even the Dalai Lama, he, like all of us, needs Down time from the heights of AWARENESS. Holding on to that ideal is a way we terrorize ourselves.
Keep asking: What really does nourish and comfort us?
Ask yourself: At the moment – not what a GOOD person or an Enlightened person would do – What do I want and need to do right now?
People are afraid to see – to look at- What do they really want? Because they get caught up with some ideal notion of the Self – so they think they should be, say, meditating instead of watching TV.
What is it that you really want to eat?
It’s usually what you haven’t been allowing yourself – which isn’t necessarily what you really want.
HOW YOU DEAL WITH FOOD IS HOW YOU DEAL WITH LIFE.
When you eat emotionally, you keep yourself from wanting what you REALLY LONG FOR
RUMI: be the doorway!
So, come into your body, right now – sense your body- Because if you have left yourself there is no one left to BE
What would the 250,000 people who are dying today would give to have your breath, your arms, your legs….
Take these breaks during the day to check in with yourself
Ask yourself, Do I trust that my emotional needs will be met?
Do I want somebody else to do it – Am I willing to cherish myself in ways other than food? Am I willing to take the time to inquiry and figure out and ask Am I willing to cherish myself…do I feel worthy of being cherished?
There is always something else that is needed – other than the food.
Ask your self out loud: What is it honey? What do you need? Are you willing to give it to yourself?
Sometimes it is hard and it takes a NO – a cancellation, but it requires the commitment to cherishing yourself.
RUMI calls it an appointment to be with yourself everyday.
Sometimes we get anxious just from the stories we tell ourselves.
FIRST STEP in overcoming emotional eating : First impulse is to cut this out BUT instead of trying to get rid of the emo. eating urge – TRY USING IT AS A DOORWAY. Look at it for what is has to teach!
She never tries to get rid of anything EVER. See nothing as a wall. Look at it as a DOOR and then go through!
There are always exquisitely good reasons why people turn to food.BUT you can always Turn them into BLESSINGS.
Keep returning to yourself over and over again, sensing your arms and legs.
“Your body is the piece of the universe you’ve been give” Keep being aware of your body.
“Oh it’s me here; I get to have this life. I get to live in this fullness.” 
BARBARA SHER
TWO WAYS OF KEEPING CALM:
-let the inner genius get excited about what she wants
-get in touch with your feelings
Popeyes: I am what I am and that is all that I am
The Secret to Success: Isolation is the Dream Killer!
All you have to do is SHOW UP. e.g Mom making dinner even though she isn’t thrilled about it.
What is relevant is the 4 step process:
1. WHAT YOU LOVE IS WHAT YOU ARE GIFTED AT!
IDEA Party: email her and she’ll tell you how!
If you can frame your wish and your obstacle…find the sweet spot…and then what did you love most about it (the sweet spot)?
-Go over everything you’ve ever loved to do: what would make you smile- rate each item on a scale of 1(throw up) -10 (ecstasy)
Everything that is 7 or above write down on a piece of paper..throw out the others. Don’t think about “if I can make $ at it” or anything else…just write.
e.g. horse swims because it has to…it RUNS because it loves to
#1. You don’t know what’s possible
-Take anything that’s an 8 or 9 and say that’s my wish.
-What’s your obstacle?
3. Then plan and date it
Backward Planning: Crafting – flow chart…work backwards until you get to a step you can do TODAY
4. When you feel the RESISTANCE WHISPERER, it’s becasue youare scared or stubborn or angry. You are afraid of your feelings!
If I were screaming, what would I be screaming NOW…Put words to it and listen to those words
STEP #2…write Everything down while you are hot….
People get excited about something and then they crash and there is depression. It’s nature’s way of protecting you, so wallow in it. Get into bed, suck your thumb and when you’re sick of it – go back to the lists and then move tothird step.
STEP #3 ACTION MODE
When you aren’t inspired nor depressed…this is whenyou feelOK and everything gets done.
WORKING ON YOUR DREAM: Whenever you are doing something new~ youare certain to get scared plenty of times
We were not put on this planet to use up natural resources – WE were put here for the gift of life – to share our gifts that we were born with.
That’s it for tonight. Tomorrow I’ll cover: SUSAN PIVER, Dr.JUDITH ORLOFF,MICHAEL BUNGAY STANIER, MICHAEL NEILL, and JEN LOUDEN
bird in the basement
Yesterday I embarked upon a “vision quest” of sorts: a virtual retreat with Comfort Queen. I AM SO PUMPED! Four days I am giving over to bursting outta ordinary life in order to sit with my existence. It’s a time to look long and with new slant at how I do things, especially how I live my life and WHY. Ah, yes, I’ll even spend some time pondering the BIG QUESTION and if you don’t know what the heck THAT is, well, there’s probably no need for pondering on your part. For types like me, it is a darn-near obsession and one that I welcome iotas of answers. But then, there I am in the retreat and I find out that what it’s all about is ASKING MORE QUESTIONS! What gives with this?
I follow the guidelines in the How to Create Retreat Space doc….light pretty candles, gather colored pens, 2 notebooks (lined and unlined…just in case, I go journalling wild), create seating possibilities, including a small rocking chair that I bought at Salvation Army, yoga mat and blankets for impromptu practice and warmth. My space was comfy and safe, good for looking deeply sans interruptions from myself or others.
Jen Louden, retreat diva, led the first session and my oh my, it was exhilarating. I’d never been on a virtual retreat so it was a relief, both that I could figure it out (OMG as simple as making a phone call) and that I’d be inspired to do the work I felt needin’ to do. My excitement burbled after the call as I wrote in my journal and then headed upstairs to eat lunch and take care of a few other tasks. .
While happily munching away on my leftover stuffed delicata squash, something inside nudged me to go downstairs and blow out the candles, candles shouldn’t be left unattended and all that. Starting downstairs, I gasped upon nearly being flown into by a large black bird, a starling, for gosh sakes—in the basement! I ran upstairs, closed the door, breathed a few, and tried to think about how it got there…and how weird, one has never come into our house in winter, never in the basement…but it is zero degrees outside and I guess the poor thing was freezing.
I’m on a vision quest and a STARLING FLIES INTO MY SACRED SPACE!
It actually alights on the yoga ropes! Was it feeling the gorgeous spaciousness of retreat time and space? Was it connecting with re-treatants around the globe, seeking calm, confidence, and contentment with comfort? Hoping that at the least, its purpose will shift away from GRAND SUET MONGER at my feeder 
to something more uplifting like SINGER OF GOLDEN ARIAS, but not sure that THAT is in Starling’s DNA.
The symbolist in me immediately connected this bird with the poem Jen read at the opening. Even though underground and the wild wind was growling with buckets of snow belting outta the gray sky, I could feel the forest inside with the Wren and Raven’s presence when she read. Human- nature boundaries dissolved. Poetry holds much the same purpose as yoga —connectiveness.
Here’s the poem; sorry the spacing is off. It’s a lovely by one of my fav poets.
LOST 
By David Waggoner
Stand still. The trees and bushes beside you Are not lost. Wherever you are is called Here,
And you must treat it as a powerful stranger,
Must ask permission to know it and be known.
The forest breathes. Listen. It answers,
I have made this place around you.
If you leave it, you may come back again, saying Here.
No two trees are the same to Raven.
No two branches are the same to Wren.
If what a tree or a bush does is lost on you,
You are surely lost. Stand still. The forest knows
Where you are. You must let it find you.
FF to Day 2 of the Comfort Retreat: it’s mid-mornin’ and I’m setting up my “Stuff” and notice that there is a god-awful smell in the room. I call Mike down and we figure out that it’s coming from the furnace pipe (the day before we didn’t actually know HOW Starling got in…today the poop on the furnace was a dead giveaway). We hear a fluttering and realize that this bird is stuck inside the pipe!!! This is a horrible SAD disgusting unthinkable way for a poor defenseless bird to die. And since it’s our pipe, we are feeling kinda to blame. Mike puts on his gallant face (the one I LOVE so much) and informs me that he’ll take the pipe apart and retrieve the poor thing. I’m free to go upstairs and listen to the retreat call that is starts momentarily.
While I’m dialing-in, my head is screaming: GOOD LORD, THERE IS A BIRD BURNING IN MY PIPE!!! How very SHIVA-esque! Do I need a stronger metaphor for transformation???? Am I that dense? Did the universe really need to like bang me upside my head with a life on fire? The smell that now permeated the house? like Pashupatinath, the burning ghats in Nepal…GROSSSSSS.
Ahh, the second bird was only singed. It flew freely outside. The smell remains to remind me to let go of the past, to open, AND TO LISTEN to that which is my heart’s desire.
Which bird will you follow today? The one that flew towards the heat of the blue flame and found an opening into freedom, openness! Or the one that tried to retreat when it grew too warm and then became stuck in the pipe, singeing its feathers in the process?
Here’s to asking yourself GOOD Questions.
Do You Believe in Prayer?
Yoga and prayer…do they go together…do YOU bring them together? Yoga asana IS prayer for me. It’s the prayer of the body in motion. It’s opening my SELF to the grace of the universe.It is working to create a sustainable body/mind/spirit and therefore family/friendships/community/nation/world.
Sitting meditation – is it a prayer? Yes’m indeed. We sit to develop compassion; all practice is for compassion. Imagine if those in the West Wing sat everyday, hell, sat once a week and practiced Lovingkindness meditation.…Imagine (as John Lennon did but the world has not quite grasped the work involved yet…Imagination + Prayer/Practice = a more loverly world!) ahhh, for today – as we enter upon the inauguration of a new era – just imagine….
This post is dedicated to another Jersey girl, a member of the original Mater Dei yoga club back in 1971: “White Cathy” – and the benevolent work she has done and continues to do! It’s a blessing and inspiration to know you.
Yoga and meditation teach us to open ourselves; to free ourselves from the confines of our “programming,” of what we have been inculcated by society. The practice informs us of a greater existence, a greater SELF that we can aspire to and it is a SELF that we all belong to in this great human family – some would say in this family of all sentient beings.
Do you believe in the power of prayer to change the world? Do you act on that belief? How does it affect your life? – or the lives of those around you?
Benefits of Inversions, Modified Shoulder Stand
When the elder yogini grinned up at me from her head on a blanket on the floor – her legs up in the air of the studio – her backside securely perched on the folding chair – I could see that she was in the “correct” position and the correct position felt good!!!
If you are unfamiliar with the pose, check out Witold Fitz-Simon’s article on supported shoulderstand.
Supported shoulderstand on Chair (ckg photo)
Why do I like to be upside down? my haloed student asked, hoping, I think, that I’d have an answer.
When I told her that I loved an inversion too, she said that ever since she was a kid, she’d always enjoyed being upside down. She’s a young seventy-something.
Looking at her sparkling blue eyes, and the way that her wavy alabaster curls spread about her head like a halo on the blanket, I wondered why reversing the flow of gravity pulling our physical self to the earth should give such an emotional boost. Sure, yogis have said since ancient times “You are only as young as your spine” ….and the spine strengthens whenever our feet lift and our head drops.
We know the health benefits of inversions:
- venous blood flow returns to the heart with ease
- nerves are soothed and headaches relieved
- thyroid and parathyroid glands are bathed in blood and brought into healthful condition (yogic wisdom)
- with repeated and regular practice, hypertension, and unstable emotions are regulated
B.K.S.Iyengar calls Salamba Sarvangasana the “Queen of Poses” – Headstand is the “King of Poses.” Though he doesn’t discuss the supported or chair version of the pose in his classic text, Light on Yoga, he does discuss at length the benefits of standing upon one’s shoulders:
The importance of sarvangasana cannot be over-emphasized. It is one of the greatest boons conferred on humanity by our ancient sages. Sarvangasana is the Mother of asanas. As a mother strives for harmony and happiness in the home, so this asana strives for the harmony and happiness of the human system. It is a panacea for most common ailments. There are several endocrine organs or ductless glands in the human system which bathe in blood, absorb the nutrients from the blood and secrete hormones for the proper functioning of a balanced and well developed body and brain.”
Though I am taking a break from inversions until my neck heals from the injury I incurred in November, I really miss supported shoulderstand as it was a regular part of my daily practice. I found it was indispensable for alleviating the pain of varicose veins. It also helped on a psychological level, promoting seeing the world from a different perspective. This benefit is not often emphasized, but I find very important in my own practice, teaching and life.
Texas wildflowers at dusk (Mark Knight photo)
Tree karma, tipsy angel, yoga’tude, joy
emily sledding (alex kieber photo)
It was an ordinary winter break.
Sure, there was a ridiculous blizzard, mucho tree karma again, kids stranded overnight in Atlanta, anise cookies baked too late for aging, fruitcake eaten too early for aging, the last minute gift wrapping frenzy, and unexpected visitors, including our dog-guest, Yoshi.
But there was also the traditional cheesy plastic nativity set on the mantle, the tipsy angel on top of the tree that we finally found after three days of searching the backwoods of the county, way too much cinnamon and citron Christmas stollen, too much loganberry wine, too little sleep.
It was Christmas after all. And even though I worried that I didn’t have the time or where-with-all to create the seasonal magic my parents pulled together year after year, I was nonetheless pulled into dreamy, timeless and very joyful days.
tipsy angel
With ten people in the house for nearly a week, there was amazingly little conflict. There were no raised voices, except in laughter; there was no sulking or even passive aggression. Everyone worked hard to interact with each other and yet, maintained respect for each others space and feelings. Geesh, not much of a story here, but I warned you, it was all pretty ordinary. We cooked, took long walks, and hung out. We played a couple of games and racked homemade wine. We sat on our bums and talked, catching up with what’s been going on in our lives, munching each others insights and news like cookies.
The weather spun crap, keeping us nearly housebound the entire break. One day it’d be frigid blowing white stuff, the next thick, icy rain; the next day would gray over imbued with bone-numbing damp. Never was there enough snow and sun to snowshoe, nor enough green and balm to walk.
elves & eggnog
So why was this a season filled with grace? I was sporting an entirely new attitude. Yep, life’s all about ‘tude and I finally figured out that my life went down a whole lot more fun if I embraced a yogic attitude.
Last year, when a friend dropped by on Christmas day. I nearly bolted out the door to go for a walk with him. I was soooo glad for a respite from all that was going on in the house – which I would say now was absolutely nothing except my negative outlook- so why did I need to escape so badly? I have a journal entry from then wherein I recorded how alienated I felt, how separated from everyone, including those supposedly closest to me: my immediate family. And of course that was bringing on depression, the all-too-common holiday blues. I’m not trying to go all-confessional on you here; it’s just evidence of how my attitude, which included such stellar qualities as resentment, insecurity, formless ambition and competition, shaped not only how I looked at life, but created the threads of my existence.
There really wasn’t much different this year, except my mind – that great instigator of human turmoil and unhappiness. The great wrecker of human lives.
It’s all in the attitude!
What is? you ask.
Pretty much everything, I answer.
We create our world, thought by fleeting thought.
traditional Bavarian anise seed cookies
Yes, reincarnation probably happens when we die – the physical body eaten by slugs – the spiritual self enters the realms of the bardo and reemerges in another realm of existence. But we also have the ability to reincarnate during this life. We become new-old beings, that is, if we decide to change our minds – the way we view life. That’s the miracle of birth we celebrate in the Nativity every single year. We pray for the grace to invite transformation. And as everyone knows, change often occurs when we are at our lowest, darkest points. It’s no surprise that so many of us celebrate birth during the solstice’ short days. Or that depression runs rampant as hungry bears during Christmas cookie season.
Sure, we practice yoga asana or postures so our limbs and core will remain supple and strong, but there are deeper, much more fundamental changes that often go unnoticed since they accrue silently and invisibly, year after year of maintaining the discipline of the mat.
Here’s a list of some changes I’ve noticed growing in my heart and mind:
Acceptance - I learn from not being able to clasp my twisted hands in eagle or to touch my forehead to my shin in forward fold,from my distractedness and rushing in bellows breath, from my pitiful attempts at living by the precepts of nonviolence and nongrasping, from my restlessness and sleepiness in sitting meditation; acceptance must run parallel to self-knowledge,,,as I go deeper, it’s not always pretty inside! Acceptance of myself leads to accepting others in my life. I don’t have to always be right; peace is more important AND accepting you as you are, striped with faults of every color just as I am…well, it’s OK. Accepting who I am means also accepting my past decisions as well as yours; it means accepting where I am physically as well as mentally. There is a freedom I’ve found in this acceptance by and by which has led to a fundamental shift to a consciousness of contentment. At least greater contentment than ever existed in any precious life.
Flexibility -As I hold pigeon and camel – poses that break old patterns of holding, my body and mind and heart grow more bendy! When I let go my routine and any semblance of schedule (hey, with all those folks in this little house, there wasn’t much room nor was it ever quiet for practicing) …I ate different, heck I think my breath assumed a different rhythm for nearly three weeks. In the interest of flexibility, I let it go and didn’t look back, didn’t hold on to seeping strands of resentment, which left me free to fully enjoy my company and to welcome the relief from routine!
Confidence – Standing in tree or dancer pose light the inner fires of confidence; being able to sit with my thoughts alone or to spend a day in silence have given my self-assurance that even if my practice nearly disappeared, even if my beautiful schedule was obliterated, I am still me with my core intact and I will return to the balance that my practices afford on a daily basis after the holiday. This sounds simple enough, but it wasn’t always the case in days of yore. I’d lean a tad crazed and unbalanced in a semi-permanent fashion when thrown off schedule.
Presence (awareness) – By training myself to become aware of my toes and fingers, my heart and mind, while teetering in half-moon pose, or sitting in siddhasana meditation, or stretched in savasana, I begin to observe how my attention wanders while I am “listening” to you. I try to grow my awareness by staying on task and paying attention to whatever it is I happen to be involved in at the moment. It’s a tough call in a culture that praises multitasking and it’s a challenge when there are several conversations going on in the room simultaneously.
Playfulness – This is the attitude fostered when I fall out of half-moon or dancer pose! This is the attitude that keeps me from performing sun salutations like a robot, that drives my twisting self into crazy dog pose. This is the attitude that says, hey, whatever comes up during sitting meditation is AOK. In fact, bring it on…all of it, ‘cuz I’m gonna just sit here and watch! This is the attitude fostered by a sense of community that says we are all flawed and wonderful human beings (hmmm, even dogs!) and we don’t have to uphold any longstanding personas anymore. This is the attitude of the Laughing Yogini 
Poinsettia
I recognize these forces at work in my life when I celebrate with kith and kin, filled with hugs, laughter, ease and well-being, letting go and giving away. It all feels natural and makes me wonder what else lies on the road up ahead as I continue the path which no longer seems like a way; it flows as constant evolution, a constant rebirth.This all makes me curious to know what sort of changes have appeared in your life lately? Do you connect any of them to your practice? Wishing you Happy New Life and ‘tude in 2009!
falling outta freefall into the blogosphere
It’s not so much about what’s new as it is leaving the old year simmering in the dust. Looking at the past to see where I am today. Checking back on the flight plan with a sense of bewilderment and awe. Who signed off on this journey anyway???
Leaves turning. . .
It was the Fall the leaves stayed on the trees longer than usual. Some speculated that it had been because the summer was sooo rainy. But I knew it was because of me. I needed the leaves and all of their glorious fire to cool me back into life.
Week after week I was surrounded by colors so brilliant they put the peak of spring blossoms to shame. And the sky blazed overhead just about as blue as the whole big sunny ocean. A perfect azure backdrop for all the yellow, gold, and amber leaves fluttering on their skinny petioles.
These were my personal prayer flags strewn up, my personal supplication and praise to the energy of existence. Praise to the pain that had leaked away, sometimes in torrents last Spring. That was pain, generalized but constant angst and anger at me, you, the world.. . .stored up over my entire life and probably over many lifetimes. What Eckhart Tolle calls the pain body.
I know you want me to be more explicit here, but, well, it’s a long long story and mostly vague anyway. Wish there was ONE THING that I could point to, one incident that contained my anger, but that’s not what it was. Which is why I question whether it drew upon several lifetimes of miserable existence. Which is why it is pretty much miraculous that IT is gone. And hallelujah for that.
Now I am filled with endless gratitude for my life and all life. The turning leaves, brilliant and dying, can fall now. Fall to the ground, free for the slow burn of decay and the purity of snow.
- oak leaf floating in lake (David Kieber photo)
The day I signed my first blog post – a whopping seven months ago – was the day I dropped into another universe while birthing LaughingYogini. Then week after week spun on the single question WHERE AM I?
The first months of L Y’s teething pains, I kept tinkering with the site, posting, screaming for help from LY’s very patient tech team and feeling VERY INSECURE in the new social milieu. Navigating through the etiquette of comments, copyright, and asking WHO AM I? about every five minutes.
- tree teetering over lake erie (carolyn photo)
I foundered in freefall.
Slowly and surprisingly, an online identity began shaping up though. I was becoming laughingyogini and laughingyogini was becoming ME.
- two rocks – one wave (carolyn photo)
One day I was friended by a hip Aussie writer on blog catalog, a blogging community I had sent an automated “join” to months earlier. As I checked out Svasti and delved into bc I fell into the virtual blogging community. What a trip it’s been!
The community has helped me find my place. I have new friends, sources of inspiration, tech advice, and old fashioned support. Reading their posts helps LY create her voice, question her calls, raise her standards.
In the brief history of the WEB, I am a newbie. In my personal history, the WEB has literally given me a life, a community, and education, and most important to you, my readers, it’s given me voice.
With such dramatic changes in the last twelve months, I cannot begin to project into the future, but only create aspirations and intentions for HOW I AM GOING. My intentions focus on lovingkindness and awakening. Which are really the one and the only way for me. HAPPY 2009!
- sand pebbles with grapevine (david kieber photo)
READ MORE:
A New Earth.
Resolutions
Just read Waylon Lewis of elephant. If you don’t know WL, here is a video about his aspirations for elephant:
He has a beautiful list of resolves for the new year:
1. Meditate Two Minutes every morning: Or more. Meditation, no matter your religion, is simply mind training: helping you to be in the present moment, helping you not to get caught up in your own bullshit, complaining, storylines, or hopes and fears. So whether it connects you more closely to God, Allah or just the good ol’fashioned present moment, it’s gym for the mind and heart.
2. Don’t fill the Gaps: gaps between activities allow our minds to reopen, expand and have original, often time-and-effort-saving big ideas. So don’t walk with your head down, lost in thought. Don’t just text and call folks when you’re driving or waiting. Don’t read the NYer when you’re on the can. Allow a little space in your life. Doing nothing, as a great Buddhist teacher once said, is the foundation for doing anything—and it’s one thing we Americans are really, really bad at. So let go of one or two minutes of entertainment a day—and look out upon this life and world.
3. Own your Karma—it’s fun, God knows why. Think about everything you do, and the effect (positive and or negative) it has. Take responsibility for it. That’s why the Green movement, personally speaking, is less a fad than a way of life for me—as a Buddhist, I’ve sworn to try and take responsibility for being of some benefit to others, and our planet (all sentient beings, is how we put it)—and if I’m mindful of what I’m doing each day and minute, I’ll naturally want to support local businesses, buy fair-trade, buy organics, recycle, turn lights off, compost, ride my bike…and have a good time doing so. It’s not about being perfect, pure, or righteous: it’s about caring.
4. Exercise: physical movement for at least half an hour a day, every day, is not only good for your health (duh) it’s good for your mind, your heart, your emotions…it gets everything going and flowing, and gets your mind off of work or family or whatever it’s become unhelpfully stuck upon. The key to continuity? Do something you enjoy. I enjoy bball, climbing, yoga, biking, the occasional visit to the gym (and their hot tub and sauna). In the last few months I stopped exercising almost entirely, however, and found it hard to get myself to do any of the above. So how’d I get myself back on the tracks? Got a few friends to join me.
5. Pets. If you’re going to get a pet in 2009, get a rescue. Why? Right now, in the US, we’re perpetuating n animal Holocaust every year…we kill millions of dogs and cats bc so many folks choose to buy from breeders or pet stores. Fact is, you can find almost any breed if you look on petfinder.com…as for training and temperament issues, just watch the Dog Whisperer and you’ll realize that purepreed or mutt, 99% of the situation is your problem—meaning you can solve just about anything once you know how to.
6. Eat Meat only occasionally—and when you do, know where it comes from and how it was treated while it was alive (fed antibiotics? Free-range? Or factory farm?). Make like Michael Pollan and eat plants, mostly. You don’t gotta be an overbearing, righteous hippie zealot—it’s simply better for you, esp now that fish is so full of mercury it’s now a no-no in all 50 states for pregnant ladies. So not only will you be sparing the occasional life, and taking a load off your health, but you’ll be really, really enjoying the meat and fish you do eat, instead of just casually enjoying it /slash/ taking it for granted.
7. Green clean your home. The average American home’s air is more polluted than the outside air, even in metropolitan areas. That’s largely due to your undersink areas having more chemicals than the average laboratory pre WWII, when, subsequently, chemical warfare companies turned their attention to the domestic market (Agent Orange fertilizer, anyone?). So go eco—there’s lots of mostly far cheaper solutions, some of them time-tested (vinegar, baking soda, hot water), some of them brand spankin’ new, that’ll do the toughest jobs without leaving behind lots of toxic, cancer-related chemicals in your home and our waterways and air.
8. Make your next shower curtain non-PVC (I bought affordable organic hemp, cotton or linen curtain off ebay). PVC is connected with cancer—it’s all bad, through and through. Keep it away from children (many rubber duckies and other toys are made of PVC!) and out of bathrooms, where heat and water make a toxic combination, at the least.
9. Right livelihood. Whether your job is of boring, local benefit (plumbing) or glamorous, far-reaching benefit (ecofashion) doesn’t matter. Just try and synch your morals and what you spend 8 hours a day, or more, doing. This isn’t obvious as it sounds—if it were, we’d all be doing something we believed in. Life is short: make 2009 the year when you want to jump out of bed in the morning.
10. Call your mom and dad and work out any nagging issues. Personally speaking, I haven’t historically been around my dad too much, and while I love him we do some funny history. My mom, on the other hand, was a huge hero for me back in the day…but I don’t call or visit her often now that I’m all growns up. So I’ll look to rectify both of those situations this year—because, again, as New Year’s reminds us, life is short.
And here is my two cents that was posted in the Huff Post reprint of the original:
I’ve been thinking about this list Waylon since I read it last night on your site.- I stumbled it this afternoon and am still thinking about the resolves. I really love them. My resolves are:
To LISTEN more closely to what others are saying,
To GET OUT OF THE WAY and let the universe work more,
To HONOR my mental and physical health more often,
To deepen my practice of GRATITUDE.
I guess these can all be summed in the core practice of BEING present WITHOUT NUMBING OUT – as Pema Chodron tells us
Thank you Waylon and readers for being in my life. Wishing you all happiness in 2009. May you connect with the necessary energy to follow your resolves this year.
